Derailer # 2: Too damned much information AVAILABLE!
There are so many resources out there about creating a successful blog and online business. Some free, some paid. Some great, some not so great. This is a very exciting time for creating a business you love in the online space, and as such there are so many resources available from successful bloggers who want to help you create your own amazing blog. Reading and applying proven strategies can have an amazing impact on helping you create and grow your brand, yet with so many people talking about the best way to achieve your online business goals it can very quickly start to feel overwhelming and like you simply must do everything all at once. Everything feels both possible and necessary, and very quickly the list of tasks you want to (nay, must!) work on gets longer and longer, and overwhelm can kick in. I know I've been there!
There are a couple of ways content overload can can derail bloggers, and not just newbies!
- Firstly, the overwhelm can stop you from taking action on anything because everything feels urgent and you get stuck in analysis paralysis. List building! Blogging! Marketing! Branding! Social Media! SEO! All too soon your start to think 'Oh my goodness, I need and want all those things and just have to make them happen. And be brilliant at them!' Talk about setting yourself up for burn out.
- Secondly, you can spend most of your time consuming content and thinking you're actually still working on your blog and business. You're loving all the amazing content out there but pretty soon most of your time is spent falling down interwebby rabbit-holes of spending most of your time consuming more and more and more, and overwhelm builds further.
How to overcome:
Be selective about who you follow and trust.
My process over the years has been to follow people I discover in my travels, but I quickly reached the point of an overly full email inbox. I could see value in all the emails I was being sent, so wanted to read and action everything, and pretty soon I had hundreds of unread emails and an overwhelming sense of too much to do! Something had to give.
It was time to get ruthless. I started filtering and unsubscribing until I settled on receiving updates from a few of my favourites. In order to do this for yourself, I suggest the following questions:
- Whose email do you select to read first in your inbox?
- Who feels relevant?
- Who gives great free content, rather than just trying to sell you stuff all the time without offering anything?
- Whose branding appeals to you?
- Who inspires you?
If someone just doesn't float your boat, unsubscribe - even if everyone is telling you how amazing they are. As with so much in life and business, follow your instincts. There are no wrong answers.
Don't be afraid to invest in a program if it feels right and you trust the creator.
With so much free content available, paying for a course can feel pointless, even extravagant, but I've found that paid courses go into much more detail and actually step out the process of how to achieve your desired outcome, and you can therefore reach your goals much sooner with this expert guidance. The important factor to consider is if you trust this person and value what they have to say, and not just get swept up in amazing promises they make during their launch process. I'm still kicking myself for signing up (and spending a substantial amount of money!) on a course that promised so much but just didn't deliver the goods. The whole brand just wasn't a good match for my personality and didn't vibe with my personal ethics. I know that I ultimately got caught up in the hype and the promises of a successful sales pitch.
If you're unsure about whether a course will help, do your research. Check out testimonials or other recommendations for the course or the creator. Look into whether there is a refund period and what you will need to do to get a refund if you decide the course isn't for you. Just remember, if you do sign up for a program, you really need to do the work! You won't get the outcome you desire if you don't apply the learning.
Derailer # 3: Self-doubt from comparison
Carrying on from the previous derailer, having access to so many others doing and achieving what you want can lead to a sharp case of comparison syndrome. You know you want to create something of value in the world through your blog, and you have a unique message that is worth sharing, but with so many others out there you wonder: "How can I do better than that? Maybe I should just give up now."
Yep, I've been there too. I'm not sure you ever really get past this feeling as there will always be others you admire who are doing an amazing and inspiring job. I think you just get better at working past this insecurity and doubt, especially when you truly find your own rhythm.
How to overcome:
Set your expectations to match the stage you're in.
You may want the shiny, amazing blogs of your online heroes but let me assure you that this is a pretty tall order. Of course other people have amazing sites with tonnes of great content - they've probably been doing it for years! Be proud of yourself for starting, and know that by working steadily on your goals that not only are you building something worthwhile, you're also further along than someone who doesn't take any action.
Know that you have a message worth sharing.
There are people out there who will love what you have to say. Not only have you had a distinctly unique experience of life and the world, but there over 7.4 billion people on the planet so it is pretty much guaranteed that statistically more than a couple will find resonance with your filter of the human experience!
Remember, as Oscar Wilde said: "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
Derailer # 4: Sharing so much of yourself can feel super uncomfortable
Blogging is a very personal. When you blog you share parts of yourself on a global stage and potentially open yourself up to criticism and negativity. You share your thoughts about the world, and deliver your message in a way that is unique to you. Sharing your thoughts and who you are as a person can be one of the best parts of blogging, but also one of the most daunting.
Putting yourself out there leaves you open to scrutiny - from others and yourself. It's potentially very exposing to see your face up close and in zoom on screen, hear your voice on a podcast or read your words in a blog post. It can all feel a bit icky!
Not everyone minds sharing themselves online. In fact, some people love a bit of over-sharing and don't know when to rein it in! But for others (me included) it can feel like a very vulnerable experience to share so much of ourselves and so I've come up with a few ways to help deal with this potential derailer:
How to overcome:
Go slowly and be kind to yourself
Know that it can, and probably will, take time to find the right balance between being open and personal, and knowing how much to keep back. The important thing to keep in mind is that you must find what works for you and be kind to yourself if you don't always strike the best balance for you. Learn from what made you uncomfortable and adjust accordingly.
Be mindful of what you're sharing and set healthy boundaries
It can be really helpful to establish guidelines for how much of yourself you want to share, and these boundaries can be adjusted as you get a better understanding of your comfort level. I find it helpful to ask: will sharing this help my audience? Is this aligned with my values? Am I doing this just because someone else I admire does it, and it seems like the right thing?
Get a bit comfortable with discomfort
Know that you might feel this way for a while. Learning anything new requires you to be at the edge of your comfort zone (or beyond!) and growth comes from stretching ourselves beyond just what is easy. I find it helps to remember that your readers want to know you're not just a robot, so personal stories can, and do, enrich their experience and build their connection with you and your message. Just make sure you still respect your boundaries.
Derailer # 5: Haters
While there are so many kind and amazing people in the world, there are some who are just plain jerks. For reasons I will never fully understand, some people will act in the most hateful way toward others. They will say hideously mean things and act in ways that seem to defy rational explanation.
Unfortunately, when it comes to blogging, this can be part and parcel of the whole deal. When you share parts of yourself this is just the nature of the beast, and the dark underbelly of being a creator in the world.
I feel like jerks just say the jerkiest thing they can muster (because, as we've already established, they're jerks), but sometimes their comments can hit a nerve because it relates to an especially personal and vulnerable point. Maybe they find a way to tap right into that most sensitive part of your soul, and one hurtful comment can make you want to pack it all in before you've even really started.
But like I've said before, what you have to say is so very worthwhile and it would be a tragedy to let a jerk, or even a few jerks, make you want to walk away.
So, how do you take care of yourself, striking that balance between sharing yourself and being ok with how the world perceives this, even in the face of hurt and criticism?
How to overcome:
Act in a way that helps you
When it comes to dealing with haters, the choice of whether to engage should be well considered, and in a way that best serves your interests and wellbeing. Rather than reacting right away from a place of hurt or anger, step away until you can look more dispassionately at the situation. Does their comment warrant a response? Laying some intelligent and considered smack-down right back at them may be just what the doctor ordered, but only do this if you know it will serve you in a healthy way. Blocking them from being able to comment again, and leaving them to be forgotten can also work.
Another thing to consider is whether there is anything positive to take from their message, however hatefully it may have been delivered. Is there any merit in their comments? Could listening to, and acting upon, any part of this message actually help you improve your message? The answer may very well be 'hell no!' but at least considering that may take some of the sting out of their delivery.
Remember: hurt people hurt people
It helps to remember that those who inflict suffering upon others are often in a place of suffering themselves. While their behaviour is messy and hurtful, it may arise from not knowing how to process their feelings in a healthy and productive way, and so they find ways to hurt others to perpetuate a cycle of misery.
Knowing there is a reason behind their hateful behaviour can help take some of the sting away. Once it's possible to look past our own feelings of hurt to see the unhappy human behind their actions, you may accept how little value should be placed on the comment, and ultimately you can move on more quickly. Heck, you might even start to feel some compassion for the hater!
Accept that you will never please everyone - and that's ok
Not everyone is going to dig your vibe. It's just a fact of life. If you can truly accept this and not try to please everyone you will not only sleep better at night but you'll also find you create things of greater authenticity, and from the heart. After all, the best revenge against haters can be to rock the heck out of your own awesomeness! By showing up and sharing yourself you will add more truth and beauty to the world and thereby diminish some of the negativity spread by others. And the best bit? Haters really hate that.
- Bonus: If you would like some help with cultivating more acceptance in your life, especially in the context of your blog, I'd love for you to check out my Self-Care Series. It is a free, five-day email series designed specifically to help bloggers and online creatives to get happier by implementing a self-care plan into their lives, and features two exclusive guided meditations including one specifically for acceptance. Click the button below for access: